Why Blog?

I am tired of being voiceless. My diseases are not usually visible and if you talk about them too much in company you are considered a victim and attention seeker. Some people can deal with your life, all your surgeries, and still be a friend. Other people can not and check out. I used to be hurt but I understand now. I am a freaking Grey’s Anatomy SEASON. That is heavy, scary, and complicated. It is cool to be supportive the first five times someone tries to die, but after seven- yeah, that is tough. My own mother can not even handle my medical situation without breaking down. My illness have made me a hermit, unable to finish anything, fighting for my life but not living it, and this year I lost my kids to my husband when I tried to die… again.
I am not safe to raise kids because at any moment I can throw a blood clot and die.
As he has the job, family support, and the rather rational fact that he is not a walking medical drama. The kids stay with him.
Now, as he told me after 14 years together, it is time to find me. Who I am besides a mother.
And the wonderful thing about blogging is that you can do it anywhere and if someone doesn’t want to know about your story- they can just move along.
Brilliant really.
So- let’s do this. Let’s find out who Crystal Jean is!